Hey Storied family,
Very quickly into our time away from this space the question of “what’s next for Storied?” turned into “what’s next for US and faith?”
Truthfully, we’re exhausted. From this past 18 months, from the last few years. Engaging in the world as a Christian publicly has felt truly, utterly exhausting. Going to church felt exhausting, and not having a church we feel comfortable attending is also tiring. Because all of it feels so loud and intense. Especially online.
We find one of the most stressful parts of opening social media these days is the intense pressure to fully commit to one school of thought. Pressure to check nuance at the door or risk being socially ostracised? (Or “cancelled” if you will!) The problem with that, is people aren’t that black and white, nor should we be.
It’s been one of our personal biggest frustrations of the last few years, is that everything has become so polarised that we are being forced to trade in one set of dogmas for another. Fundamentalism still prevails over thoughtful, nuanced stances on complicated topics. We’ve found personally, it’s that pressure which puts our faith at risk for being merely a collection of “stances” on “issues” rather than a soft, breathing, living, evolving relationship with a spiritual God.
Like many of you, we’ve found ourselves wanting to hold onto our faith because it’s been good and life-giving to us and others, but find ourselves distancing ourselves more and more from some of the mainline expressions of that faith. So last month we wrote out a physical list of what we’re taking with us on our journey to rebuilding our faith, and what we’re leaving behind. This is a list of things we’ve come up with as a couple in our own marriage, and we’re sharing it with all of you not because you need to agree with all of these things, but because we’ve found it a helpful practice in navigating how we move forward spiritually.
None of this is set in stone, these aren’t the ten commandments, or any commandment at all! They’re merely our own post-deconstruction intentions written out and available for you to take on if they fit, and disregard if they don’t!
What I’m bringing with me/ What I’m leaving behind
A sense of curiosity, and an investigative spirit— leaving behind cynicism.
A sense of mystery of God— leaving behind the sense of resignation that he can’t be known at all.
A deep sense of trust that my own intuition is GOOD— leaving behind making my feeling and intuition are the ultimate authority but rather a trusted and vital resource in the process of evaluation.
A passion for faith that is expressed in social justice— leaving behind any sense that the Gospel doesn’t need to be articulated beyond this.
A broad and radically inclusive understanding of God’s limitless love— leaving behind a theology of “everything’s fine”.
Deep respect for the teachings of other religions and traditions, that they have beautiful insight to offer and are rarely “the enemy”— leaving behind fully fledged universalism.
The ability to hold tension, to live in a space of lament, doubt and uncertainty and make a temporary spiritual home there— leaving behind the tendency to “overstay” in this space.
A prophetic, reformational posture. Challenging the status quo. Looking for brighter futures and blindspots— leaving behind an unnecessary distrust and rejection of two thousand years of church history, during which some of the brightest minds in the planet tackled many of these issues and came to solid conclusions.
Humility that comes from knowing you don’t have all the answers— leaving behind the idea that you can’t know ANY of the answers.
A willingness to read scripture with fresh eyes, avoiding excessive literalism where it doesn’t fit— leaving behind the tendency to get caught up in novel, “hot take” interpretations of the text versus accepting the most likely meaning.
A healthy distrust of the modern evangelical movement, given its proven track record as a money-oriented, politically motivated, sexist and sexually corrupt institution with little concern for the outsider— leaving behind a lone wolf mentality and hopelessness regarding the future of the church.
A faith that is not built on dogma as much as “faith expressing itself through love”— leaving behind a faith that is so afraid of doctrine that it fails to meaningfully define love.
An emphasis on “belief” as an embodied thing rather than intellectual box-ticking-- orthopraxy vs orthodoxy— leaving behind excessive over correction away from the creeds and doctrines that have defined our faith for thousands of years.
A willingness to be flexible and truly have conversations around faith that might result in a change of mind. Not holding so rigidly to ideas that you can’t discover a better one— Leaving behind a tendency to avoid holding convictions and firm beliefs out of fear of being wrong or appearing intolerant.
A faith that values and recognises the importance of “trusting your gut” as a sacred way of hearing the Holy Spirit and navigating a complex world— leaving behind the deification of “my feelings” as the last word on morality and ethics.
So that’s our working list, and we found this to be such a useful exercise for ourselves that we definitely suggest giving it a try on your own, to help bring clarity to your own intentions going forward.
If you have thoughts to add this that you feel comfortable sharing we’d love to hear them in the comments!
To Read
The Night Hawks by Elly Griffiths— The latest instalment of the Ruth Galloway mystery series is now out on Kindle and hardcover! So if you’ve binged the entire series like some people (*cough* Gabby! *cough*) if you no longer have to wait to get your hands on it.
How to Gracefully Decline a Job Offer by Allison Green (The Cut)— We thought this was one of those articles that might not be immediately applicable but, a good saver. Five useful tips for saying “no”.
It’s Okay to Outgrow the Life You Thought You Wanted by Rainesford Stauffer (Medium)— The title of this article really captured us. It was a good reminder that not only is outgrowing things part of healthy, human living, but out-growing good things we’ve worked for is good too. Especially in the context of faith and deconstruction, like Barbara Brown Taylor says, things get more opaque the more we mature in our faith. Anyway, we liked this article!
To Listen
Love Stories Podcast with Dolly Alderton— We’ve been binging this series and even listened to the episode interviewing former NHS doctor, writer and comedian Adam Kay last night as we made dinner together. It’s a really fun series interviewing some fascinating and beautiful people. Normally we’re not THAT into the interview style format of podcasts, but this one is more like eaves dropping on a chat between two witty, hilarious friends at a bar.
Other Stuff
Gabby posted this series on her Instagram stories the other day and we thought it would be useful to post here too. We’ve found that even when things are sometimes pitched at kids as helpful learning tools, they’re also educational for adults too. We’re not in any way claiming to be experts in disability or even autism, we’re just parents trying hard to learn how to best advocate for our son in the world as it currently stands. So we thought we’d share this because we found it useful.
Another Instagram account that has our eyes popping out of our heads and our stomach rumbling is @chez.jorge a chef in Taiwan who posts reels of the food he makes and let’s just say…. we want it all.
Finally, on one more food-related note (most of our thoughts have to do with food these days…) this peach and strawberry pie recipe from What’s Gaby Cooking’s website was divine. We did cheap and used store-bought pie dough, but it still turned out great! So if you’re looking for a way to make the most of peach season— this is is it!
Just a reminder that our next group Zoom hang is Saturday, July 17th at 10:30am CT/ 4:30pm UK Time. Quite a few of you have got in touch to say that you’ll be traveling during that time and won’t be able to be there which is, of course, absolutely fine! The summer will likely continue to be a little more chilled out as people are traveling and whatnot, but we’ll still meet up.
We’re going to be going over some of these spiritual intentions we shared in this week’s essay and maybe even hear some of yours (if you feel like sharing!) If you’re new to Storied and this all sounds very intimidating never fear! You are MORE than welcome to just show up with your video and sound off and not participate if you’re not comfortable with that. We highly encourage it, in fact! See ya then!
Hope you’ve been enjoying this month’s mixtape! We’ve actually been listening to it a lot ourselves as a way to pass the hot, lazy days of a Nashville summer. You can LISTEN HERE
We’re headed into the weekend like…
Loved all of these. You guys have put into words the massive deconstruction and thoughts and beliefs I have had for the past couple years. Things that I have been trying to work on in our churches to make sure we don’t go mainstream and actually be a church for people, and not just for Christians. While everything was perfect on that list, for me I am going to add this one.
I’m going to bring with me a sense of wonder and accept that things can change or stay the same and I can still be happy with them, and leaving behind, Those little changes or things are God rewarding me or punishing me.
My dream is to be writing music, touring and playing shows, reaching thousands “for Jesus” but no matter how many great connections I have, shows and jobs always fall through, so I always feel like I’m “stuck as a worship leader here” but maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be. A worship leader with new thoughts in an area where things are stale and corrupt and trying to be mega churches. Not caring about people but caring about their money. Maybe I can help change that here. Basically all that to say, to start looking at scenarios and things not as, what have I done wrong, but how can I be used where I am for Jesus.
And how can I use a loop pedal in church without being told I’m too loud, or Ed sheeran😂😂
Wow. Every single thing about this rings true for me. I’d love to be able to add something of value to the list, and maybe later I’ll end up thinking of something and coming back to do so, but I feel that your list has covered everything I’ve been struggling with about faith lately. Lack of trust, but wanting to have more of it. Cynicism, but wanting to have more faith. Feeling lonely among those around me who are both very liberal, and very conservative, but wanting to be okay with sharing things with both rather than finding ways to distrust both because I don’t share everything with either. Having difficulty, with that last part being said, with holding my convictions around said people because of fear of rejection or anger, yet wanting to be firm with my beliefs because I’m so exhausted from pretending to agree with everything and be someone I’m not. Thank you guys for this. This might save me today, lol.