Loved all of these. You guys have put into words the massive deconstruction and thoughts and beliefs I have had for the past couple years. Things that I have been trying to work on in our churches to make sure we don’t go mainstream and actually be a church for people, and not just for Christians. While everything was perfect on that list, for me I am going to add this one.
I’m going to bring with me a sense of wonder and accept that things can change or stay the same and I can still be happy with them, and leaving behind, Those little changes or things are God rewarding me or punishing me.
My dream is to be writing music, touring and playing shows, reaching thousands “for Jesus” but no matter how many great connections I have, shows and jobs always fall through, so I always feel like I’m “stuck as a worship leader here” but maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be. A worship leader with new thoughts in an area where things are stale and corrupt and trying to be mega churches. Not caring about people but caring about their money. Maybe I can help change that here. Basically all that to say, to start looking at scenarios and things not as, what have I done wrong, but how can I be used where I am for Jesus.
And how can I use a loop pedal in church without being told I’m too loud, or Ed sheeran😂😂
Wow. Every single thing about this rings true for me. I’d love to be able to add something of value to the list, and maybe later I’ll end up thinking of something and coming back to do so, but I feel that your list has covered everything I’ve been struggling with about faith lately. Lack of trust, but wanting to have more of it. Cynicism, but wanting to have more faith. Feeling lonely among those around me who are both very liberal, and very conservative, but wanting to be okay with sharing things with both rather than finding ways to distrust both because I don’t share everything with either. Having difficulty, with that last part being said, with holding my convictions around said people because of fear of rejection or anger, yet wanting to be firm with my beliefs because I’m so exhausted from pretending to agree with everything and be someone I’m not. Thank you guys for this. This might save me today, lol.
So yannow how I said I’d be back if I thought of something? I just did while I was writing an email. I want to leave behind a hard heart toward everything mainstream Christian. It’s kept me from truly listening to sermons, as I’ve near mocked many of them since deconstruction because of this stupid belief that “they don’t know what I know about that verse”. It’s something I’m not proud of. And I want it to change.
"A healthy distrust of the modern evangelical movement, given its proven track record as a money-oriented, politically motivated, sexist and sexually corrupt institution with little concern for the outsider— leaving behind a lone wolf mentality and hopelessness regarding the future of the church." Whoa, this resonates. Wise and tender and necessary. Thank you.
I love this list so freaking much. Thank you for sharing your process. This seems like a helpful exercise that I definitely want to take some time to think through for myself.
I’m just getting back to reading these! I love your dedication to writing these weekly newsletters. It’s so beautiful! 😭 This list was amazing. That you take the time to carefully and critically think about life (but not over-think!) is so inspiring. I’m going to write my own list for my own spiritual oft-forgetfulness. I love your hearts and God does too! ❤️
Loved all of these. You guys have put into words the massive deconstruction and thoughts and beliefs I have had for the past couple years. Things that I have been trying to work on in our churches to make sure we don’t go mainstream and actually be a church for people, and not just for Christians. While everything was perfect on that list, for me I am going to add this one.
I’m going to bring with me a sense of wonder and accept that things can change or stay the same and I can still be happy with them, and leaving behind, Those little changes or things are God rewarding me or punishing me.
My dream is to be writing music, touring and playing shows, reaching thousands “for Jesus” but no matter how many great connections I have, shows and jobs always fall through, so I always feel like I’m “stuck as a worship leader here” but maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be. A worship leader with new thoughts in an area where things are stale and corrupt and trying to be mega churches. Not caring about people but caring about their money. Maybe I can help change that here. Basically all that to say, to start looking at scenarios and things not as, what have I done wrong, but how can I be used where I am for Jesus.
And how can I use a loop pedal in church without being told I’m too loud, or Ed sheeran😂😂
Wow. Every single thing about this rings true for me. I’d love to be able to add something of value to the list, and maybe later I’ll end up thinking of something and coming back to do so, but I feel that your list has covered everything I’ve been struggling with about faith lately. Lack of trust, but wanting to have more of it. Cynicism, but wanting to have more faith. Feeling lonely among those around me who are both very liberal, and very conservative, but wanting to be okay with sharing things with both rather than finding ways to distrust both because I don’t share everything with either. Having difficulty, with that last part being said, with holding my convictions around said people because of fear of rejection or anger, yet wanting to be firm with my beliefs because I’m so exhausted from pretending to agree with everything and be someone I’m not. Thank you guys for this. This might save me today, lol.
So yannow how I said I’d be back if I thought of something? I just did while I was writing an email. I want to leave behind a hard heart toward everything mainstream Christian. It’s kept me from truly listening to sermons, as I’ve near mocked many of them since deconstruction because of this stupid belief that “they don’t know what I know about that verse”. It’s something I’m not proud of. And I want it to change.
I relate to this so much! Thanks for sharing! 🥰
"A healthy distrust of the modern evangelical movement, given its proven track record as a money-oriented, politically motivated, sexist and sexually corrupt institution with little concern for the outsider— leaving behind a lone wolf mentality and hopelessness regarding the future of the church." Whoa, this resonates. Wise and tender and necessary. Thank you.
I love this list so freaking much. Thank you for sharing your process. This seems like a helpful exercise that I definitely want to take some time to think through for myself.
I’m just getting back to reading these! I love your dedication to writing these weekly newsletters. It’s so beautiful! 😭 This list was amazing. That you take the time to carefully and critically think about life (but not over-think!) is so inspiring. I’m going to write my own list for my own spiritual oft-forgetfulness. I love your hearts and God does too! ❤️