This was really good Gabby. I liked your list! The part about being a safe place really stung, but in a good way. I’ve been learning how to not react to others feelings like they are about me for some reason. Ok, when I say “others” I mostly mean my wife, Becky. Throughout therapy I’ve come to learn more about why her emotions threatened me and how to listen more without being offended, but I’m still working on it. Internally, I have to check myself often, remind myself that things aren’t always about me or what I did to cause anything. It’s hard to get rid of that knee-jerk reaction, but I’ve gotten much better. Saying that I’ve certainly heard her say that I haven’t been a safe person to share her vulnerability with and it’s been crushingly heartbreaking. She’s run lots of risk experiments and we’ve experienced healing. But dang... that single bit about learning to listen rather than react is single handed Ky the most important part. I’ve also learned to not try to twist everything into an opportunity to share about my experience (as I sit here writing about my experience 🙄😂), but I am not skilled in the art of question asking! I sometimes with there was a playbook of powerful questions to draw out a deeper conversation... maybe when I figure it out I can write it 🤣😂. I loved this post so much and really missed y’all last week, but May in our home is seriously the most busy month every year.
This was really good Gabby. I liked your list! The part about being a safe place really stung, but in a good way. I’ve been learning how to not react to others feelings like they are about me for some reason. Ok, when I say “others” I mostly mean my wife, Becky. Throughout therapy I’ve come to learn more about why her emotions threatened me and how to listen more without being offended, but I’m still working on it. Internally, I have to check myself often, remind myself that things aren’t always about me or what I did to cause anything. It’s hard to get rid of that knee-jerk reaction, but I’ve gotten much better. Saying that I’ve certainly heard her say that I haven’t been a safe person to share her vulnerability with and it’s been crushingly heartbreaking. She’s run lots of risk experiments and we’ve experienced healing. But dang... that single bit about learning to listen rather than react is single handed Ky the most important part. I’ve also learned to not try to twist everything into an opportunity to share about my experience (as I sit here writing about my experience 🙄😂), but I am not skilled in the art of question asking! I sometimes with there was a playbook of powerful questions to draw out a deeper conversation... maybe when I figure it out I can write it 🤣😂. I loved this post so much and really missed y’all last week, but May in our home is seriously the most busy month every year.